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The TRUE Life of a College Student

Written by a Super College Student

By Monica PavlackPublished 6 years ago 6 min read
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Lmao... I have to start this little rant off by laughing. I'm not even sorry about it because COLLEGE SUCKS!

Most people who have ever been can agree in some aspect. College is the place that annihilates every ounce of hope in your body. As if high school wasn't a train wreck enough, college is the absolute destroyer of all things good.

When I was a freshman in high school, I was so ready to be the little fish in the lake (lake=high school, for those of you who won't get that reference). I was ready to better myself and see who the person I was supposed to become come out. That never happened.

High school was a torturous place that should be considered a prison. Hell, it is a prison. You have to literally ask to go to the bathroom and like 90 percent of the time, the teacher would laugh in your face and tell you to sit down and shut up. IT. WAS. AWFUL.

Luckily, though, I submerged myself in all of those glorious AP classes to the point that I basically had no life because I was drowning in school work. And on top of that, my parents were a living nightmare. They always were yelling at me and calling me a sh*t child most of the time, even though I was just a normal, sass-hole teenager. I was ready to go off to college. Ready to be the little fish in the ocean.

Boy, do I wish I could go back to the good ole' days of high school. Life was simple.

I remember the day I moved into the dorms my freshman year. I was in honors college ('cause ya know... AP classes) and I got to move in before all the other lame, normal, stupid students (kidding, they were nicer people). This was an awful choice. Being in honors college was more of a stressful adventure than what I really wanted in my first year of college. I had to do 30 hours of community service each semester, go to 6 cultural events each semester, and maintain a 3.3 GPA. Like what if you had to work... and then do homework... how the f*ck was I suppose to find time for all of this? They thought we were superheroes. News flash... we weren't. Most of us dropped out the first year anyway.

BUT NOT ME!

But it did put a terrible taste in my mouth when I thought about college. But I stuck with it cause I was one hell of a nerd. I went into college as a pre-pharmacy major but ended up switching to a biotechnology major (ya, I don't know what that means either) the second semester of my freshman year.

STRIKE 2!

This was the second worse decision I made at college. This made my life an absolute nightmare. Good god do I wish I could take back my major. Now, most of you are probably thinking "why didn't you just switch?" and my answer to that is because I love genetics and viruses too much to quit. But this major... oh boy this major... was SO. HARD. I literally cried almost every night and I had a nonexistent social life unless it was studying with my other poor unfortunate souls of "major buddies."

We all developed depression and anxiety and it was nice to have that special connection with them.

Have you ever heard of the freshman 15? Yeah. That's real. I gained like 20 pounds by the time I was done with my first year. I wasn't so sexy anymore. Even playing club volleyball wouldn't save me from my fat rolls.

Sophomore year was a blur.

Skip to my third year of college and I was more of a walking zombie than a human being. I attempted to pull my sh*t together but unfortunately, that never happened (still has yet to happen). I turned 21, though! That didn't make a difference. I still had no life and my nose was permanently glued to my textbooks. My brain was so drained at this point that I was so severely depressed that I contemplated dropping out every single day and being a stripper. And when I decided naahhhh I shouldn't do that, I cried in the shower. I swear to god I lost a lot of water through my tears.

At this point, I'm severely regretting college. College is not a fun place to be. You either party and fail your classes or you do well in your classes but have no life. It is some bullsh*t.

Did I mention that I never slept? LOL the amount of sleep I got during my four years of college was less than I got as a baby. That's sad.

LOL, I never had a relationship during college either, 'cause ya know... studying. I had zero time to literally do anything with my life, let alone give someone my attention.

On top of that, I was working three jobs at once just to eat. There's another reason why college sucks. You basically live on ramen noodles and bread because everything is so damn expensive. This doesn't help with the weight issues. Even with three jobs, I still had zero money. God, I make some terrible decisions.

Skip to my last year of college! Yay! I made an irrational decision to apply to graduate school to get my Ph.D. I had no brain power left and yet I spent $600 dollars applying to graduate schools. Miraculously, I got into one in St. Louis, MO. I am currently sitting here contemplating why the f*ck did I do this. But when I walked across that stage, I felt like I was just as stupid when I started. If you asked me a question about my courses I would laugh in your face because you expected me to retain information. That never happens. At my undergrad, you get those little flip books like you get in high school and when I sat back down, I opened it and got the most disappointing feeling. All it said was "Congratulations"... THANKS!

I walked up to my advisor and said I wanted a refund. He laughed in my face. I said, "Fine, then I want the university to pay for my countless hours in the psychologist's office because I was f*cking losing it." He laughed and walked away... I was being serious.

And when I got my diploma in the mail, I was so unsatisfied. Literally, an $80,000 piece of paper basically saying "yay, you're not as stupid now." But I did graduate Cum Laude, so that's cool. Still felt like a waste of my time.

Overall I will gladly sum up why college is the worst decision ever:

  • You gain weight so fast.
  • You constantly hate your life.
  • You're broke af.
  • Your major will more than likely destroy you.
  • You will have no life.
  • Relationship? HA think again.
  • You lose all hope and faith in your abilities.
  • You regret it every single day.
  • It's. EXPENSIVE.

LOL I can't complain too much considering I am in graduate school. I don't regret going that much 'cause now I can possibly follow my dreams but it still is a terrible decision. Don't do it.

Simply,

Monica

college
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About the Creator

Monica Pavlack

I am a graduate student. I enjoy writing about everyday things that people can relate to.

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