Salvation in School
What Getting Back into School Has Done for Me
What education means to me in my mid twenties cannot compare to how I viewed education growing up. I always did okay in school, but I never really thought about it as a key to unlocking my future. My junior year of high school I started experimenting with drugs and alcohol. Grade wise I started to fall out. I was more passionate about my serving job than school. I did go to college my first year out of high school, it being mandatory by my Dad that I enroll. I stayed in school for three years, doing relatively well. These years of my life were about school but I was also still smoking weed, drinking, with no plan about what my years would be like after graduating college.
A major life event changed my college career path. I tried to commit suicide when I was in my junior year of college. After this, I decided I couldn't handle school at the time and decided to take a break. I ended up working full time at UPS. At first I loved it. The break from school felt amazing. The money I was making at the time seemed like a lot. After a couple years, the job I had wasn't satisfying. They moved me around in my job from places I liked to places I didn't. I realized I had no better job options outside of the career I had. I was dealing with anxiety in my personal life, along with an eating disorder. Mentally, I was in a horrible place. I met with my dad's girlfriend one day just to catch up. At the time my dad and I were not speaking because of a man I was dating. She became stern with me about school. She is always sweet and doesn't usually take a disciplinary approach to our relationship. When I heard the serious tone in her voice on school, it pushed me to take it seriously. At the time, I felt I desperately did need school to take my life somewhere I wanted it to go.
I was an International Studies major originally, and teaching ESL has always been my goal. At UPS, where I worked, we had a lot of foreign people at the job. Working with these people, much of whom were refugees, was also motivation. I was touched by a group of refugees at my church when I was in high school. I decided then that is what I wanted to do as a career. Being 24, dealing with a break up, being diagnosed with anxiety, borderline personality and an eating disorder, and still recovering from a suicide attempt, on top of hating my job, I found salvation in knowing I could change my life for the better by getting back into school. It hasn't been a smooth road. I've had even more life changes after getting back into school. Sometimes, I question if it is the right thing for me to be doing, and if I am too old at 26. No matter how much I doubt myself, I know the answer is I am not too old and it is the right thing for me to be doing. Education is a way I can focus my energy on self improvement, even though I have other problems I deal with. Education now for me is a way to be true to myself, and what I have sought to accomplish in my life. If you are reading this questioning if this is a risk or change you are willing to make, know there is light at the end of the tunnel, and you will never regret a degree.
About the Creator
Emily McGrath
Almost raw vegan, at least for the summer... love books, jogging, yoga and of course, long romantic walks on the beach! I hope you enjoy what I write, I love doing it!
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