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I Am a Teacher and I Have NEVER Read a Book

Sometimes, illiteracy is fun :)

By Manos KamakarisPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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It's true! I work as a teacher in secondary schools in the U.K., I have "studied" Philosophy and Sociology and I was a decent student in High School, too (Essay was a subject that I had a perfect grade in my final exams), but I have NEVER finished a book in my damn life. I like the concept of books and literacy, like it is cute when I go to a hookup's house and they have a cute wooden library with books and shit or when people go to libraries to in movies as an excuse to have sex in the bathrooms, but when it comes to the actual reading I fucking hate it.

I am not sure why I don't like reading. I mean, I have read manuals and textbooks for exams, but I have never finished a novel. I think it is because I am a very visual person. Even the kind of music I listen to has to do with the fact that I know about the scene the artist belongs to and their background, so I already have visualised their sound and their lyrics in my head so I can enjoy it. Even my hobbies are visual, like LEGO or card games with amazing artworks. Another reason that I don't like reading is because I wasn't raised right. JK. It is true that my parents are not big readers, but to put the blame on them would have been very first-world-I-am-a-human-of-late-capitalism excuse of me, because we always had books in the house and they were always very caring about my education.

What really bothers me sometimes is that there are so many countries in the world where the main problem is the absence of a library and the access to books, and even though I have this luxury I still can't sit my ass down to even finish Harry Potter and a philosopher who is stoned (or whatever the fucking title is). Another problem with my don't-wanna-read-a-book syndrome is the he-has-never-read-a-book shaming (I warned you this is gonna be about first world problems). Whenever people ask me about books and authors I have no idea what to say and then people think I am stupid. But this is not true. I am not stupid because I don't read books; I am stupid for many other reasons, like for example, not making a research on the ethos of a company when it comes to how they treat their staff before I buy something from them or because I thought cricket was a made up sport like quidditch the first time I heard about it.

Moreover, I also feel very pretentious whenever I am in the classroom and I have to encourage my students to read in the 15-minute literature reading session every morning. Surprisingly I am good at my job and I always get book-ings (see what the fuck I did THERE?), but let's be real, I am just a substitute teacher so being good at what I do is like having one semi-functional eye in a room full of blind people, but that's another story.

Well, here we are, this is my rant about my inability to appreciate things I take for granted while for other people those things are a necessity and a luxury they don't have access to. On a good note, I save trees though, right? I am the fucking Mother Teresa of natures and shit.

Sorry for my poor english grammar and syntax skills; it's not my first language and I don't know if I have got it by now, but I don't read, so duh! Of course my writing is gonna be shit. However, I have a certificate that proves I have proficiency in the English language and I enjoy being a walking example of why the system has failed *add hair flip*.

P.S. I'm not gonna even read the article I just wrote to double check for mistakes, so don't hate.

B.S.

teacher
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About the Creator

Manos Kamakaris

I am 26 year old Greek, chain-smoking guy who aspires to be a plant gay one day.

If you like what you are reading please share it and maayyyybeeee leave a tip xxx

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