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I don’t even know if I should go. I mean it’s not really my scene, I will probably feel out of place there. I’ve never even been to a high school party and now I’m going to go to a frat party. This might end badly. S and B can get super wasted, random guys will come up to us and want to talk to them, and what if the music is terrible? If a party has terrible music it is definitely going to be bad I know that much. But... I might have a really good time. I’ll dance with my friends singing a song we all know. I might meet cool people that I can become friends with. The idea of a party sounds so fun in my head, but I know it’s not going to be as glamorous in real life. That’s just how life is in general. People tend to romanticize scenarios that end up leading to disappointment, but this will be a new experience. I am always so afraid of things and I just need to get out of my head and live in the moment. I know that sounds cliche but it’s a cliche for a reason right? Okay here’s what I have to do.
First, figure out a way to ask my mom if I can go to a college party. She knows I’ve never been to one and that I’m scared out of my mind so I’m curious to see how she’s going to react.
Second, find a good outfit. I’ve googled what to expect at college parties-lame, I know-and I found that frat parties are actually very gross. I’m going to want to wear something I don’t mind getting dirty along with shoes that are comfortable—converse of course.
Third, sort out the driving situation. We are most likely going to take my car. I can also use being the DD as an excuse not to drink if I wanted. I’ve never actually drank before so I don’t know if I want to. I don’t want to sound like a prude, but it is all very new to me. But, I have to think about what if I do want to try a drink? How much? What kind of drink: beer, shots, mixed drinks?
After I’ve done all these things and I’m at the party, drinking or not drinking, I have to mingle. This is the most critical part of the party. For me, public settings can either cause me to become an outgoing version of myself or the shy, scared little girl version of myself. I don’t want to be that one person that’s awkwardly standing on the outside observing. I am determined to be free and just say screw it.
Now don’t get me wrong I’m still going to be me and be the responsible mom of the group-that’s never going to change. At least I will be able to get out of my own head and have fun. I know S and B will bring me out of my shell and a different side of me that is able to be a kind of normal teenager. I know I’m kind of late to the party so to speak but at least I am finally able to experience something new. I just have to make sure I still act like myself that’s just a different version of me. I don’t want to pretend to be something I’m not, but I want to be open to exploring those other sides of me. All in all I want to have a good time with my friends. I got through my first semester of college and I think it’s time I celebrate. I’m excited for the new year and what is to come so here’s to new experiences and living your best life. Cheers.