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Being Transgender at University

5 Tips for Life at Uni as a Trans Person

By GabePublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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Going to university for the first time can be a terrifying experience anyway. Add to that being transgender, and it can just seem to get even worse. Whether you're out and proud at home and not sure how new people will take to it, or completely closeted and wanting to tell people for the first time, here are some things to consider.

1. You probably won't see your flat mates that much.

These are the people who you will see when it's 2 PM, you're hungover and can't put your binder on, but you just really need some pasta. So, yeah, they'll probably see you at your worst. But you'll see them at their worst, too. And you probably won't see them other than that. Even if you have flatmates on your course, I found that I rarely ran into them. If, like me, you're unfortunate enough to have ran into a transphobic asshole for a flatmate, you really just do not have to interact. Make friends from your course, and you will find that you spend too much of your time off-campus spending money or just at their flats.

2. Make friends before the course starts.

Join Facebook pages and group chats for your university, your course, and the LGBT group if you can. This has a lot of benefits. It eradicates the need to try to befriend people face-to-face because the likelihood is you will find a couple of people you bond with over text, and you will just arrange to meet up with them and let it go from there. Another advantage is it gives you a platform to come out before you actually meet them (if you want to, that is). It's far easier to send a quick message saying, "Hey! My name is (xx) and I'm transgender so my pronouns are (xx). I can't wait to meet you guys!" You will likely make other not-cis friends from doing this. It also means you don't have the awkward moment of getting misgendered by course mates, because they know. Similarly, it tells you who to stay away from. If someone just reacts like an idiot in a group chat, you have a bunch of other people to come to your aid, and you know without a face-to-face meeting that you do not want to be that person's friend.

3. Talk to the people in charge.

It's hard to do sometimes, but the professors and course admins are really there to help you. If you get assigned a personal tutor, I would highly recommend coming out to them in your first meeting if they seem like a decent enough person. Even if you're stealth, having this one person know can be a good point of call and a good way to get things done without having to out yourself to a bunch of people. I had issues with my name on the register, for instance, so I just organised a meeting with my personal tutor and he got it sorted for me! I did not have to interact with anybody else and after the first meeting, I pretty much did not even have to mention it again. They're also not likely to care as much as you think they will. You're their student, and it's their job to teach you, not to judge you. Also, they are well-educated university professors and the likelihood is that they will be open-minded.

4. Do your work.

Not so much trans related, but do your work. There will be periods of time when sitting down at a laptop and writing 5,000 words seems like a completely impossible feat because just getting out of bed is difficult, but I promise you, you will reap the rewards. If you don't do the work because of how badly depression or dysphoria is hitting you, when the results come through, you will only feel worse. Of course, there is always that nagging "but first year doesn't matter" in your head, encouraging you to not bother with the work. But, whilst it may not matter towards your final grade, it does matter to your mental health. When you know that you are an intelligent person but you barely pass the year because you let your mind get the better of you, you will only be drawn into that pit further and further.

5. Enjoy it!

University is one of the only times you will get the opportunity to live in this big bubble filled with learning and independence and completely new people. You can be your true self, possibly for the first time. And, no, it won't all be perfect and partying and having fun, because at the end of the day you are there to learn. But, if you make the most out of it, it will be one of the best experiences of your life.

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Gabe

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