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A Fifth Grade Nightmare

Childhood Depression and How I Saved a Student

By Jenna GoldbergPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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This was maybe two weeks ago. I got a new fifth grader, a sweet boy. Sadly, some of my troublemaker boys had gotten to him and were not exactly the best of influences on him. He started acting out a bit in class. Nothing too bad, but he was definitely acting different.

Fast forward to a few days later. While I’m going into a lesson on point of view, I start to hear my new student and another boy arguing about something silly, like who took a pencil off the desk. First reaction: “Boys, that’s enough! Let’s get back to work.” Five minutes later, more arguing. This time, it’s not about a pencil. I’m now hearing some jabs at each other’s appearance, then about their families. That’s when the threats of violence came out. Kids can be very cruel. Now it’s becoming a major problem. As any teacher would do, I pulled the boys to the side to figure out what’s going on and what we can do to settle it. They shook hands and walked away.

I was not prepared for what I saw next.

I’m writing something on the board about third person omniscient point of view. When I turned around, I did everything in my power not to scream. I witnessed my new student holding a pair of scissors to his neck, and was preparing to close them. My first reaction would have been to run to him to stop him. However, I didn’t want to cause a ruckus and embarrass him. So I quietly walked to him and asked him calmly and politely to let me hang on to the scissors.

I got my class working on an independent activity. I brought him to the other side of the room where no one could hear us. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?” No response. “Hunny, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.” He broke down crying. I knew he wouldn’t be able to have a long conversation, so I asked him some yes or no questions so I could get to the bottom of this. “Is there something going on at home?” He shakes his head. “In the class?” He nods. “Is it another student?” He nods. “Is it one of the boys you were arguing with?” He nods. Lunchtime. I had to get the kids to the cafeteria. I asked him if he wanted to walk with me. He nodded.

We got back from lunch and I pulled him aside to make sure he was alright. No response. I told him if something like that keeps happening during class, let me know and I’ll take care of it. Then he said what I was scared of hearing. “I’m going to do it... I’m going to do it...” Now we’re on red alert.

While I was getting my lesson set up, I wrote a note for one of my kids to bring to the office saying “I need administration here now. Emergency.” While I waited, I taught my lesson, I continuously watched him. What I saw scared me so much. He has a pencil and was digging it into his stomach. I calmly asked him to let me hang onto it until after class. Thirty seconds later, he had another pencil and was shoving it into his stomach again. This went on for about five minutes, all while staying very calm so as not to embarrass him. My principal walked in and was able to take him to talk.

That was a long, drawn-out story. So, what’s the take away from this? I’ve witnessed a student try to take his own life, and it is nothing to take lightly. We hear lots of stories about kids that commit suicide and they are stories that we should never have to her about. We’ve finally started talking about why this happens and what we can do to help. It’s sad to say, but childhood depression is very real, and very serious. It’s something that I went through, and I do not wish it on anyone.

So, where do we go from here? Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or just a friend; if you see, or hear about, a child trying to harm himself or herself, or say anything about self harm, do not ignore it. Do anything and everything in your power to help. Even if it’s a quick “how are you?” or “do you want to talk?” Let these kids know that you’re here to help, not to judge. I was able to save one of my student's life. Sometimes we’re not so lucky. Let’s change that. Let’s make sure our children are not only happy, but that they know they’re not alone and always have someone to come to.

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